How to Find the Light at the End of the Tunnel
Author Annie Lin, MBA
When you're experiencing a difficult situation, it's normal to feel lost or hopeless, like nothing will ever go right ever again. Maybe a major relationship ended, you suffered a loss, or you feel lonely. It can be tough to find the light when everything seems wrong, but nothing lasts forever and this too shall pass. In this article, we'll show you how to look for a light at the end of the tunnel no matter what kind of situation you're in.
1 Stay connected.
Surround yourself with people whom you admire and enjoy being near. Be with happy people that naturally maintain a positive attitude. Especially if you are struggling yourself, make an effort to stay away from people who tend to be pessimistic or critical. Instead, be with people who laugh easily, smile frequently, and make you feel good.
Spend quality time with people in ways that allow for real relationship building. Instead of TV nights, make a game night, or instead of going to a movie, go hiking together. Choose activities that allow you to make great memories together and enjoy each other's company.
Stay in touch with those you care about using social media, messaging apps, or video calls
2 Engage in therapy.
The tension and overwhelm of life’s difficulties can often be too much for one person to handle. A therapist can help you gain a different perspective and cope more effectively while in the midst of a crisis, helping you change your life for the better.
Therapy allows you to explore yourself and grow.
3 Find solutions.
Once you are receiving some support through family, friends, and/or a therapist, you may begin to feel that a positive future is possible and within your means. Maybe you can’t magically “solve” everything, but you may be able to take steps to help alleviate some of the problems you’re experiencing. If you’re feeling overwhelmed with work, school, and family, consider taking a day off to sort through your life. If you feel emotionally fragile, take some time for yourself to sort things out. Problem-solving means lessening the distance between your desired state and your current state. You can’t make your problems disappear, but you can minimize them.
Totally buried in junk in your house but too tired or busy to deal with it? Hire some help.
Find a way to give each task a ‘due date’, and do each one in order.
For more tips on how to problem solve, check out How to Solve a Problem.
4 Make plans for the life you want to have.
Find the light at the end of the tunnel by creating it. Imagine yourself several years from now, when your current situation is a distant memory. What does your typical Tuesday look like? What are you doing, and who do you see in your life? Where do you live? What kind of job do you have? What are you doing for your enjoyment? Now that you have that future image of yourself, take steps to make it a reality.
If you see yourself in a different career, start taking the steps to make that happen. Go back to school or start to gain new skills. Nothing is beyond your abilities, and it’s never too late to start something new if it means you’re living your happiness.
5 Add happiness to your life.
You don’t need loads of money or nice things to be rich. Happiness is most often found in the small things, or the moments when you “stop and smell the roses.” When you feel like your spirit is down, it’s an especially good time to find happiness in the small things: a sale at the grocery store, an especially delicious cookie, or a bright sunny day. Allow yourself to smile at anything that stands out to you.
Think about the things in your life that bring you joy (playing with your kids, volunteering, playing badminton) and determine to do more that brings happiness. Play with your dog, dance around in your room, and sing at the top of your lungs in the car.
Adding happiness to your life can also mean taking unhappiness out. This can include staying away from people who upset you, destroying your credit card, learning to cook so you can avoid junk food, no longer watching TV or reading the news, and so on.
6 Be optimistic.
Positive thinking helps you to live a happy, more stress-free life. This means looking for the good behind the bad and being grateful for the things that are going right in your life. You may be very critical about restaurants, manners, or movies, but don’t allow yourself to bring this attitude to all aspects of your life.
Don’t allow yourself to polarize your thinking when you see elements of your life as “all good” or “all bad”. Remember that almost every situation has shades of gray and very few things exist in black and white. if you find yourself blaming yourself for losing your job or being in a difficult financial situation, remember that lots of factors influence an outcome. And no, you are never a total failure.
If you catch yourself having bleak or critical thoughts, stop yourself and decide whether you want to create a new one or replace it with another one. You can replace your moaning about the terrible weather with a reflection about the necessity of water for the plants and the soothing thought that it doesn't rain every day.”
7 Take breaks.
Make taking regular breaks a priority and part of your lifestyle. This can be a weekend getaway or an afternoon hike into the mountains. If you feel bound by time, take a mental break by distracting yourself from your problems with a simple book.
Taking a break or finding distractions doesn’t mean running away from your problems. Find activities you enjoy and go do them! This can also include taking a bath, keeping a journal, or playing music.
One break isn't going to do too much — you need to make finding time for self-care and enjoyment a habit of everyday life. This will help you to continue and move forward, even when things are tough.
8 Accept the situation.
While you may not like your present situation, you can accept what you cannot control. You can’t, for instance, send magically money into your bank account or a lover back into your life, but you can accept that it is part of your reality. While practicing acceptance isn’t easy, it allows you to diffuse stress and live more peacefully.
When things aren’t going your way, take a few breaths and say to yourself that you are accepting what's happening, even if you do not like it.
You can practice acceptance in all parts of your life, not just when in the thick of hard times. Practice acceptance when sitting in traffic knowing that you will be late for your appointment, when the kids are sick and are screaming, or when you’re disappointed in your school grade.
If you feel like you would like to receive emotional support, and/or Supervision, by participating in Counselling/ Gestalt Art Therapy sessions, workshops contact us
Gestaltarttherapycentre@gmail.com
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